Print Story the most western thing to ever happen to me
Christmas
By misslake (Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 12:19:16 AM EST) (all tags)
thus far anyway.

when i asked my boss why all of our shipments were late (i'm mistress of grocery in my current job) he replied, "the weather is pretty bad in the mountains. there has been a couple avalanches and so the kok - a - holla pass is blocked."

TEH WHAT?!?

i laughed until i was in stitches. then i realized he was serious.

the coquihalla pass was blocked. no trucks were getting through from vancouver. nothing to do but sit pretty and wait for the snows to stop.



yes, i am living in the crazy frontier town of fort edmonton. all shipments come overland (possibly by wagon train or prairie schooner or donkey cart) and they get stuck at the trecherous mountain passes. they might not get here till the spring thaws! (dang nabbit!)

today, 12 skids of (mostly still ok) produce and dry goods arrived at my receiving doors, after having finally made it through the coquihalla pass. yes, up the coquihalla highway they traveled, and through the coquihalla pass.

we have room in the back of the grocery store for about 4 skids. 5 if we block the door to the meat freezer. it was an awkward day. full of dangerous box stacking and pushing tubs and jars and boxes of food so far onto the shelves that other stuff fell off the far side.

now our customers can all stop bitching that we only have navel and valencia oranges.
they can have their almond milk and cashew cookies, their vegan cake and eat it too.

the whole situation was made even more bizzarre and hillarious (to me) by the number of customers who were frazzled and upset by our total lack of mandarines and  plain almond milk. i loved telling them that an avalance and snow had blocked the coquihalla pass and nothing was getting over the mountians. i didn't know when the shipment was coming in. so much fun. excessive use of the word "coquihalla." so much stuff buried under other stuff. i doubt i'll see my back shelves again before tuesday.
and yet, it didn't seem to make anyone feel thankful, or lucky the way i did. here we are, it's minus 17 and it's been snowing for three days straight, and despite most of our food being driven overland through passes in the rockies, we still have ORANGES! no mandarines or satsumas, mind you, but oranges none the less. we were running low on cows milk, since it all comes from bc. but we had litres and litres of local goat milk. and cartons of tetra packed rice, soy, almond, and hemp milk. each one a miracle of modern materials science.

the customers and my coworkers somehow bitched and complained about the coquihalla highway is supposed to be an all weather road, and why couldn't the trucks get through? could they speak to a manager about it? could i go check in the back? they really like the unsweetened almond breeze milk, and they won't accept the vanilla almond breeze or the hemp bliss, or the so nice or the riza milk as substitutes.
no, the snow has blocked the pass. no, neither i nor the manager can generate anything out of nowhere just cause you'd like to bitch about it. no, he's not available, i don't like talking to you and he'd probably like it even less.
and i'm serious about us being out. it is actually my job to know what we have in stock.

i love opening all the boxes, checking their contents, sorting and shelving. it reminds me of playing with -well, you know, those little clothes fastening thingies (don't want to mention the b word again) anyway, i had a huge jar of multicoloured and variously textured ones. i would amuse myself for weeks sorting them by size, colour, number of holes, material, quantity, weight, whatever characteristics i could think of. my love of sorting is expressed in this current job. i get excited when the shipments come in. it stresses some of the other clerks out terribly. they groan and moan about having just made room to put the over stock tea, and now we have more things to sort and put away.
this sentiment is hard for me to empathise with. i love the sorting. the stacking and shelving. the hauling and carrying and carting of boxes. the larger the chaos, the greater my pleasure in facing it and organizing it.

time for bed. i must be up early tomorrow to stock all the shelves.
i love the snow in the coquihalla pass.
this makes me want to have a ho-down in a hay barn. or something.

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the most western thing to ever happen to me | 23 comments (23 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
glad I live in california by R343L (2.00 / 0) #1 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 12:22:37 AM EST
my angst about the ridiculousness of many products in winter is reduced .. since much of it is or can be grown here, so there is generally a "local" option. Not that I'm sure it matters, but somehow it feels wrong to be upset I can't get $SomeSeasonalProduce out of season. Though I generally can.

Also, inappropriate laughter? That's the best kind!

"Like oceans of regret / All these questions rise / Will they drown with our mistakes / Or will they learn to fly?" -- Blackfire


food retail by clover kicker (4.00 / 2) #2 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 12:39:33 AM EST
Q: Do you have any %FOO%?

A: No, we hide it out back so we can have more special moments like this to bond with our customers.


OTOH there is a certain joy to be had at the end of the night looking down a perfectly faced-up aisle. Once in a blue moon the produce guys would go all out with storybook quality arrangements, orange pyramids and all.



Last week by gazbo (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 04:47:15 AM EST
Gaz: "Do you have any sugar?"
Minion: "I'll see if we have any out back."
...2 minutes pass...
Minion: "Here you go."

So...yeah.


"Engarde!" cried the larvae, huskily. - Scrymarch

[ Parent ]

ah, but you must accept no as an answer by misslake (2.00 / 0) #10 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 09:18:09 AM EST
there are times when the sugar shelf gets emptied and someone desires sugar before i've noticed and re-stocked. then yes, 2 minutes to the sugar crate and i can get sugar for you and re fill the shelf.

however, when we've been out of something for a couple of days, and i have put a "temporarily out of stock" sticker over the price tag, and then someone asks if we have any, and i say no we are out. then when they ask if i could check in the back, or speak to the manager, it's a wee bit tedious.

[ Parent ]

Or this morning. by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #13 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 12:04:37 PM EST
Have you got the gin in the (heavily advertised) 1 litre for a tenner bottles?

Yes, just down here, miles away from its normal place on the shelf.

[ Parent ]

produce had to stop making orange pyramids by misslake (4.00 / 3) #9 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 09:12:43 AM EST
either it looked so pretty the customers would be too hesitant to buy any, or they would carefully take the bottom outer cornerstone orange and cause an orange avalanche.

[ Parent ]

hemp bliss by 606 (4.00 / 2) #3 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 01:22:47 AM EST
I didn't think you were allowed to sell hemp bliss. It's no wonder that stuff is comin' from Vancouver.

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imagine dancing banana here


How did you think... by ShadowNode (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 04:38:15 AM EST
Things got from Vancouver to Edmonton?

Also, as far as I'm concerned, if they're not mandarins, they're not oranges.



i come from toronto by misslake (2.00 / 0) #11 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 09:23:52 AM EST
everything is flown in to pearson, and trucked the short distance to the food terminal on the lakeshore. or trucked from quebec, manitoba, or the US.
somehow i assumed they would have food distribution terminals on this side of the mountains. or that they'd fly the food here.

[ Parent ]

Are you sure? by ShadowNode (2.00 / 0) #18 Sat Dec 08, 2007 at 07:54:18 PM EST
I'd have assumed rail would play a larger role than flight.

[ Parent ]

Ah misslake by Breaker (4.00 / 4) #5 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 04:43:05 AM EST
nothing to do but sit pretty

Just you find a chair and you're done.




Mountain Pass Joke by anonimouse (4.00 / 2) #7 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 06:43:33 AM EST
I was walking along this narrow mountain pass - so narrow that nobody else could pass you, when I saw a beautiful blonde walking towards me. A beautiful blonde with not a stitch on, yes, not a stitch on, lady. Cor blimey, I didn't know whether to toss myself off or block her passage.


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL


Prairie schooner is a great name. by yicky yacky (2.00 / 0) #8 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 07:02:36 AM EST

----
A cynical, mercenary, demagogic, corrupt press will produce in time a people as base as itself - Joseph Pulitzer


that's what you call the covered wagons by misslake (4.00 / 1) #12 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 09:26:44 AM EST
with teams of horses.
they are almost as fast as the {last great moment of canadian engineering world domination} bluenose.
almost.

[ Parent ]

"can we speak to a manager about it?" by aphrael (2.00 / 0) #14 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 12:41:47 PM EST
what, the manager is going to open up a new road under the rockies?

sometimes people suck.

If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.


ahh by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #15 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 09:17:34 PM EST
These will be the first people that go apeshit when the fan really hits the fan.

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Click


WHAT?!? BUT OPRAH MENTIONNED SALBA!! by misslake (4.00 / 1) #16 Sat Dec 08, 2007 at 12:16:38 AM EST
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ANY SALBA????

we do have chia, that's the same thing. it's just the wild type, unpatented variety.

BUT WHAT IS THAT??? THAT"S JUST SEEDS. I NEED SALBA!!!

um, well, salba is actually seeds. just like these. slightly lighter in colour.

NO! I NEED THE SALBA LIKE OPRAH SAID!

riiiiight....

[ Parent ]

I like the jib of your sail by dev trash (4.00 / 1) #20 Sun Dec 09, 2007 at 01:02:27 AM EST
And would like to subscribe to your newsletter

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Click
[ Parent ]

i like organizing too. by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #17 Sat Dec 08, 2007 at 01:19:41 PM EST
i'm good at it. only problem is that if i do any organizing in a workplace emergency, i get yelled at for inaction, while what i'm really doing during those 30 second of not moving is planning my strategy.
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if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake


oh the work ethic of alberta. by misslake (2.00 / 0) #19 Sat Dec 08, 2007 at 08:50:50 PM EST
that's a whole other diary! the day of the 12 skids, i got yelled at for working too hard and not taking a break. i was like, well, i can take 2 breaks in the afternoon once i've dealt with all this crap!you are awesome.

[ Parent ]

me- by moonvine (2.00 / 0) #21 Thu Dec 13, 2007 at 09:33:23 AM EST
not so much. I wish to learn to organize happily. I am very chaotic. Right now it is even getting on my nerves! What are your happy organizing secrets?

[ Parent ]

some things by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 1) #22 Thu Dec 13, 2007 at 11:45:50 PM EST
a plan. have a rough idea of what you need to organize, don't say "i need to organize", say "i need to organize my books, my clothes, and my shoes." specific goals are very important. once you know what you're organizing, know what you have. if you don't know what you have, you need to sort first. if it helps you to take notes of what categories you have (dress pants, jeans, etc, instead of just "pants") then do that. it's sort of like making an outline, but with objects instead of ideas. then once you know what you have, find appropriate containers. hangers, bins, storage boxes, whatever your style, budget, and needs dictate. now you can actually put stuff in their proper containers.

it's easier to stay organized after the initial time spent. if everything has its place, it's a lot easier. if your goal is to sort mail and paperwork, get a set of baskets or slots (or even file folders) for stuff you need to read, need to deal with, bills to pay, etc.

of course, looking at my apartment, you'd have no idea i know how to organize. the problem is the "everything in its place" part. without the room for everything to have a place, organizing is a lot harder. i don't even have the room to really put storage containers anywhere, so they're sorta out in the open.
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if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
[ Parent ]

guess what- by moonvine (2.00 / 0) #23 Thu Dec 20, 2007 at 12:11:32 PM EST
I opened up the dreaded e word (exel) and made myself a budget!!!! And duty list. Thank you for your reply and inspiration.

[ Parent ]

the most western thing to ever happen to me | 23 comments (23 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback