Print Story alberta husi meet! Nov 24.
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By misslake (Sun Nov 25, 2007 at 03:25:24 PM EST) (all tags)
beer was drank, revelry ensued.


i arrived in calgary at about 1.
there was a baby on the bus in the seat ahead of me. she was sitting with ehr sister and her mom was sitting across the aisle from them.
the mom fell asleep, and then the baby proceeded to undress and with her sister's help ened up in nothing but her diaper and one boot, completely covered in marker. i was giggling to myself and preteneding not to notice. they looked like they were haiving so much fun. i wanted to colour myself in marker, too.

606 met me at the station, and we went for lunch.
i had an avocado and salsa omlette, he had an astrobrekkie.
the omlette was better than i imagined!

i showed lappy to 606. lappy is sick and won't turn on. he looked up the beep codes, but there was no code for the 4 short beeps that lappy makes. we jiggled all the accessible connections, took the battery out, put it back in, tightened screws and then for a breif flash of her former glory, lappy turned on. i showed 606 the picture of the weasel with a piece of toast and murmured lovingly to lappy.
it was bittersweet, when we shut her down lappy wouldn't turn back on again.

soon the time came to go to the hop and brew.
it was a really neat bar, an old converted house. glamorgan joined us and some of 606's engineer friends. he has cute friends. after a delicious pint of alleykat aprikat beer i was delighted to find out that its brewed right in edmonton!
glamorgan is awesome. he's a lot of fun.

after we were sufficiently drunk we went to the next venue, a bar with a dance floor.
606 can really move. i love dancing!
i met a guy named philippe on the dance floor. he could swing and so we cut a rug. i thought he was glad to see me but he actually had a banana in his pocket. he gesticulated wildly with it after the dj cut off a bowie song.
i was tuckered out and thirsty so i went back to the booth to find glamorgan.
he was sharing the booth with three experts in booth dancing. they were evangelizing for the booth dance movement and insisted that no dance floors were needed to rock out. the girl had huge shell earrings on that jingled and clattered when she talked.
in a ridiculous moment of failed pick ups, the one guy commented on my red t-shirt peeking out from the collar of my black dress. it's a menswear-inspired little number, with pockets and buttons like a button up shirt but tailored into a mini-dress.
"i bet you have a realy interesting t shirt on under your dress" he says. "i have a really really cool t-shirt on under my  shirt. i'm willing to go button for button with you, cause i know you'd want to see mine and i am so curious to see yours."
he tapped the top button on my dress and stared with a burning desire to develop x-ray vision at my chest.
"well, actually the buttons are just for show and my dress is sewn shut. so i guess i'll never know what is on your shirt"
"no, i'll show you but you have to show me yours! the buttons can't be sewn shut, how do you get your dress on and off!"
he was insistent and so he revealed the robot stomping the city on his t. he then grabbed my dress and tried to undo the buttons, not believing that i could have a dress that was sewn shut. he was not only disappointed but also ridiculed by his friends.
"i'm not going to lie to you buddy, i told you, you can't undo these buttons. my shirt had little red riding hood on it. it's really quite boring"
glamorgan was impressed by the guy's persistence. it was quite funny, but in a sad way. sorry strange bar guy, no close ups of my tits for you.

i hope we have many more alberta husi adventures together in the future.

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alberta husi meet! Nov 24. | 25 comments (25 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
My name is 606 by 606 (4.00 / 3) #1 Sun Nov 25, 2007 at 03:45:21 PM EST
...and I approve of this diary.

Next time I'll try and give more notice for the out-of-towners.

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imagine dancing banana here


Man Oh Man by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 5) #4 Sun Nov 25, 2007 at 05:01:53 PM EST
You Albertans just think you're the centre of the universe, dontcha?

What with all your oil money and big city problems, homelessness and rap music inciting the people with accents to be ninnies, price-gouging and dog-eat-dog-eat-Newfoundlander hullaballo, tall buildings and emblematic cars, heterosexual anglophone premier and the whole nine!

It's no place for a simple Toronto boy no more, I tell ya. No siree bob.


I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da.
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I Hate Buttons by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 1) #2 Sun Nov 25, 2007 at 04:54:08 PM EST
I don't mean to, but there it is. I think they're repugnant. That's not fashion criticism -- it's a visceral response. They make me feel ill.

Especially those little whitish translucent ones. Ugh! Absolutely vile.

As a grown man, I tolerate the existence of buttons and even touch them. I don't like to look at them, though. Beady little bastards. And if there's one thought that I find totally beyond the pale, it's the idea of afunctional buttons -- buttons for buttons' sake.

It's twisted. It's sick. And it's got to stop.

That poor boy's reaction was just one example of the discombobulating influence of today's most afunctional buttons, and their insidious effect on the young Western mind.

That plus the threat of boobies would be enough to drive any man to incoherence.


I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da.


what about snaps? by misslake (4.00 / 2) #6 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 12:40:22 AM EST
or toggles and frogs?
the buttons on that dress are actually snaps, i don't know if that makes you feel any better. i hope that's comforting to you and not even more horrifying. i don't want to give you buttony heebie-jeebies every time you read my diaries

i've never been a huge fan of buttons as fasteners, but i don't really mind them.

in this case, the sewn shut fasteners served as a sort of chastity belt, a baffle to prevent the unwelcome pawing of my lady lumps by a too-drunk albertan. i must say a brief thank you to the useless buttons.

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This diary may have caused wincing by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #14 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 06:45:50 AM EST
for many people, but I'd have thought it's the idea of you being pawed by jerks (or maybe the idea of people who would be less sanguine about it being pawed by jerks) that would give most of your readers the screaming heebie-jeebies.

Bah! Oil towns.

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He wasn't an oil man... by 606 (2.00 / 0) #16 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 04:34:02 PM EST
he was just incredibly drunk.

I found it hard to believe misslake's dress was sewn up, too... but I didn't paw her chest to find out. I just asked her later.

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imagine dancing banana here
[ Parent ]

Koumpounophobia by komet (2.00 / 0) #9 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 03:49:25 AM EST
is, apparently, a fairly common phobia.

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<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
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Ah, you mean buttons that hold clothes on by 606 (2.00 / 0) #15 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 04:26:00 PM EST
okay, I thought you meant buttons with sayings on them, because I like those. In fact, misslake and I made one for a dollar and it says "Organic Hemp". Now I can use it as an opener to expound to strangers the virtues of organic hemp, once I learn what they are. I hear it makes strong rope.

misslake's only been gone for 6 hours and I'm already bored.

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imagine dancing banana here
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Boredom by Vulch (4.00 / 2) #17 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 04:35:35 PM EST

She's not been in the UK for over 6 months, imagine how we feel.

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Oddly enough, I plan on being in Edmonton by Greener (4.00 / 1) #3 Sun Nov 25, 2007 at 04:55:44 PM EST
in two weeks time. Shenannigans may have to be arranged.



i do love a fine shenanny. by misslake (4.00 / 1) #5 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 12:21:33 AM EST
YAY!
another alberta husi drinks night will be held in your honour.

when?
dec 1 i move into a new place, and so may have room for you to stay and everything!

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I'm visiting my brother by Greener (4.00 / 1) #7 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 12:40:34 AM EST
on the 8th and 9th. His condo building has a guest suite so I've already got as place to stay for the weekend at least. However I do have a bunch of free time in December (the entire month) and may end up staying a bit longer so I may take you up on any couch or floor space if it is available.

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yay for new places! by R343L (4.00 / 1) #8 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 01:10:01 AM EST
I too am moving on the first.

Now I just have to figure out when and how to come see you in the frozen north ...

"Like oceans of regret / All these questions rise / Will they drown with our mistakes / Or will they learn to fly?" -- Blackfire
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when, how, why... by misslake (2.00 / 0) #18 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 07:04:17 PM EST
these are important questions.

i am surprised you are even offering to head north! it won't take much convincing to get me to want to come south to see you and the california hussies!!

it's so cold today the snow sounds like a box of cornstarch under your feet.
i think it's around -17, so rather warm for winter.
i suggest next summer.

hee hee hee.
seriously, do you want to come visit? i'll have to think of some event for us to attend or something good to do.


[ Parent ]

of course I do! by R343L (2.00 / 0) #20 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 07:19:32 PM EST
When? Um, soonest would be Christmas break (I am planning to be minimally out of the country during it. Where, I don't know). But really with new cheap rent, I should be able to travel a lot more (maybe even monthly). Or buy more hookers-and-blow. We'll see.

How? Given it's the way frozen north, probably plane. Or plane to somewhere northish-central in USia, then bus. See above re cheaper rent.

Why? Because you rule! Seriously. Well, a "why" for winter specifically would include "wouldn't it be fun to visit the cold?" Yes, I'm weird. But having spent the small childhood (till I was 13) in places relatively cold (Iowa mostly), I like visiting the cold as it is somewhat nostalgic and fun.

On the other hand, I bet the California hussie contingent would enthusiastically welcome a visit from you. Also, it's relatively warm here: I only wore a thin sweater today to work (no jacket).

"Like oceans of regret / All these questions rise / Will they drown with our mistakes / Or will they learn to fly?" -- Blackfire
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christmas is no good by misslake (2.00 / 0) #21 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 07:28:48 PM EST
i am planning to go back to toronto/cobourg for xmas, and there will be ba'hai holy days to go to with megpye and ryskie.

but some time after that, sure.
we'll winter it up in the long cold albertan nights.

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I am operating under the assumption by R343L (2.00 / 0) #24 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 07:41:10 PM EST
that Christmas I will be spending relatively alone in a "foreign" land. That was not a serious suggestion for Christmas in other words. Though it occurs to me I could just go spend it out east (for the access to many art museums but cheaper travel) and just say I'm unavailable due to travel. Hmmm...

"Like oceans of regret / All these questions rise / Will they drown with our mistakes / Or will they learn to fly?" -- Blackfire
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(Comment Deleted) by Driusan (2.00 / 0) #22 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 07:39:20 PM EST

This comment has been deleted by Driusan



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I don't understand your dichotomy by Driusan (2.00 / 0) #23 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 07:41:01 PM EST
Why can't you travel a lot more to somewhere with cheap hookers and blow?
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I needed a new sig. And now I have one.
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Let me check I understand this by DullTrev (4.00 / 2) #10 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 04:14:14 AM EST

This guy tried to get you to unfasten your dress, in a bar, so he could get a close up of what I am sure are a lovely pair of personalities under a tshirt, and his lure, his offer if you will, was that you could see his tshirt?

Damn, that would have to be one hell of a tshirt. I'm talking a tshirt with an inbuilt video game, a tshirt which shows you a live view of anywhere in the world, a tshirt that converts into a robot if you are threatened with attack. Then I could see that working. (Though maybe not the robot one. That might not work with women. Chicks are weird like that.)


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DFJ?


TOP TIP: by Horatio Hellpop (2.00 / 0) #11 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 04:23:35 AM EST
To alleviate the chore of picking up birds at the pub, one should carry notarized copies of one's savings account summary, with the balance being at least one-million quid.

"You can't really know something until you ruin it for everyone." -some guy who used to have an account here
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For avoidance of doubt. by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #13 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 06:40:01 AM EST
Quid is slang only for £ and €. Accounts denominated in US$ are invalid for these purposes.

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indeed by Merekat (4.00 / 3) #12 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 04:37:53 AM EST
I'm also missing the bit which says 'If you touch the front of this dress again, I will knee you in the groin' or equivalent statement.

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he actually only touched the buttons themselves. by misslake (4.00 / 1) #19 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 07:15:19 PM EST
there was a brief tugging at the edges of my collar, trying to open the dress since i had unfastened the top button. he acted like he was sure i was just pulling his leg.
i think he'd actually forgotten why he'd started chatting me up when i told him that they weren't functional buttons.
he was totally mystifyed, in such a profound way by my useless buttons that he forgot his goal was somewhere beneath them.
i think he was sufficently boggled by my outfit and embarassed by his friends that it didn't warrant a kneeing or even a backhand.
i save those for people who have been really naughty

[ Parent ]

Define "really naughty" by DullTrev (4.00 / 1) #25 Mon Nov 26, 2007 at 11:01:20 PM EST

Just out of, er, I don't know, professional interest. *cough*


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DFJ?
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alberta husi meet! Nov 24. | 25 comments (25 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback